Why do spiders like my bath?
They don't sit in the basin !
I never chase them round the loo.
In fact, I never chase them.
I have my plastic bowl and card
Humanely thus to catch them,
Then take them out and let them loose.
I couldn't really squash them.
The clever spider's look-out post
Is safe up near the ceiling.
He knows I've better things to do
Than send the cobwebs reeling.
But why imerge from subway dark
To shiny slippery white?
What joys present to mini beats
In a bath, all shiny and bright ?
There was a day when I saw Three
Just sitting there, not mating.
Ah! a daddy, mummy and a babe
There's a children's story waiting.
But the next day when I peered to see
The family group at ease,
There were only two and the large one
Had sadly got obese.
I didn't want to know the truth,
But Day 3 sickened me.
Just one spider stood his ground
As large as a spider could be.
Oh spider, I've gone off you now.
I don't want you around.
You're meant to be catching nasty flies
But you're scyving,I'll be bound.
Tell me why you love my bath?
There's nothing there to thrill.
The slope's too slippy, abseiling's out,
And you might p'raps catch a chill.
I'll always keep the plug hole stopped.
You shan't pollute my wallow.
Oh spiders dear, I've had enough.
I'll go where you can't follow.