Wednesday, January 30, 2013

New Grandma !

As from the eyes of a new mum                    
In honour of Elliana Rose, from her grandma, Elspeth Jackman

Seven days old.
You are so tiny, so fragile, so vulnerable,
But your little body pulsates with life.
I just want to spend time looking at you.

Seven days old.
You with the long expressive fingers of a violinist,
And eyes, revealed through the slits like large blue marbles
I am absorbed in baby-gazing.

Seven days old.
Do I dare to leave you alone and make a cup of tea?
Do I dare to join you and go to sleep?
I must trust.  It’s not just my admiration that keeps you alive.

Seven days old.
I will trust.
You are entrusted to me.
And I will trust God
As I too am a child, a child of my Father in heaven,
And He looks after me.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

The New Baby's arrived.



I’VE ONLY JUST ARRIVED
It was cosy in there.
Warm, contained,dark, safe.
In my own private swimming pool.
I could bounce around and kick my legs.
I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

It was cosy in there.
But suddenly I was propelled into a different world,
Cold, expansive, bright, unknown.
There were other beings in my world
That held me, that looked at me, that smelt different.
I wasn’t prepared for this.

It was cosy in there
But now my defence against change is to scream.
Loud, continual sound  coming from my mouth.
Is that me ? Do I have this power ?
I need to get used to this.

It was cosy in there
But I am learning that there is warm life to lean on.
I am learning that there is sweet succour to feed on
I am learning that there is the sweet smell of a mother.
And I am learning that to give up and let go into sleep
Is possible, and even rather comfy.

It was cosy in there
But with the transition over
I am learning to find it safe, warm, and even exciting
In the new life that’s just beginning.


Elspeth Jackman 23rd Jan  2013   for Elliana Rose